My sweet natured, easy going little boy is getting stronger willed, more independent and much harder to restrain these days. Grocery shopping is getting especially tough. Convincing a two year old to sit still in the cart and be quiet while you meticulously comb the aisles looking for Panko bread crumbs is just way too much to ask.
Yesterday, we were about half way through our shopping excursion at Walmart and I could tell time was running out. Wyatt was becoming more and more unsettled and finally lost it when I wouldn't open a bag of chips for him. He stood up in the cart and started screaming, flinging the chips across the aisle. I calmly (read: through clenched teeth) told him to sit down right now and mommy would give him a special treat (I keep a package of fruit snacks in my purse for such emergencies). The woman pushing her cart past us muttered, "hmmff! Real nice!" with sarcasm dripping from her voice. Thinking surely I misinterpreted her comment (she was trying to commiserate, right?), I turned and asked "excuse me?" Just to make sure there was no confusion, she repeated herself, with a sneer and dramatic roll of the eyes. I'm not even sure what she meant - was she chastising me for snapping at my child or rewarding bad behaviour with snacks? - all I know is, it was an insult of some kind. I'm used to fellow mothers giving you a sympathetic smile or maybe throwing out a "Been there, done that!", anything to support the sisterhood. I mean, seriously, I was having a hard enough time. Do you have to kick me while I'm down, lady? I was so mortified by the whole exchange, we raced on and finished our shopping as quickly as possible.
Still reeling from my altercation in the aisle, I headed for the checkout lane. As usual, there were about 6 people in line in front of us with heaping carts and people quickly began lining up behind us as well. Wyatt's mood seemed to become increasingly agitated the longer we waited. I alternated between holding him, letting him stand in the cart, anything to occupy him. I knew if his feet hit the ground, he'd be gone. I would have been able to handle his temper much easier in private but I was well aware of the judgemental glances I was getting from fellow shoppers. When did it become socially unacceptable to discipline your own children? The more I tried to restrain him, the more upset he got. In all of his kicking and flailing, he managed to punch me right in the nose. I was quickly losing my cool, not to mention getting quite flustered over the scene we were causing. Finally it was our turn. He helped unload the groceries onto the belt. That bought me a minute of peace. I let him pretend to swipe my debit card and push the buttons on the machine. Another 30 seconds of silence. When it came time to pay, I noticed a series of foreign letters and numbers, along with ERROR scrolling across the screen of the debit machine. The clerk looked at her computer with a puzzled look and said "hmmm....I've never seen that before." She shot Wyatt, then me, a dirty look and called for a manager over the intercom. "Manager needed on aisle 7, manager on aisle 7" boomed over the loud speaker. I could hear the audible signs and groans from the people in line behind us. The manager came and she too, had never seen that before on the screen. The clerk mumbled something under her breath about the "boy pushing buttons" and the manager shot us a look. Dag nammit!! We couldn't catch a break. I was sweating profusely and embarrassed beyond belief by this point. They made an announcement that aisle 7 was cash or credit card only from that point on. I used my credit card to pay and raced toward the exit with Wyatt tucked under one arm, madly steering the shopping cart with the other, rocketing past the Walmart greeter as he called after us, "Have a nice day! Thanks for shopping at Walmart!"
When I relayed the story later to my girlfriends over coffee, they laughed and were appropriately horrified at my experience, although almost every one of them had a similar story or some sort of personal dilemma when it came to disciplining their children in public. My mom offered this advice "In our day, we just popped you on the bottom and that straightened you right up". I realize the decision of whether or not to spank your kids is a hotly contested topic. Whether you are for it or against it (I pass no judgement either way), it's definitely not something you do in public, without fear of public reprimand. So you just do what you can, quietly grit your teeth and offer empty threats that you can't back up with the disapproving eyes of total strangers fixated on you. What do you do when your kids are running amuck and causing a scene in public? I'd love to hear your comments or stories on this topic. If you're reading this with a satisfied feeling, thinking "my child never acts like that", don't be so smug, I'm sure your day will come!
Yesterday, we were about half way through our shopping excursion at Walmart and I could tell time was running out. Wyatt was becoming more and more unsettled and finally lost it when I wouldn't open a bag of chips for him. He stood up in the cart and started screaming, flinging the chips across the aisle. I calmly (read: through clenched teeth) told him to sit down right now and mommy would give him a special treat (I keep a package of fruit snacks in my purse for such emergencies). The woman pushing her cart past us muttered, "hmmff! Real nice!" with sarcasm dripping from her voice. Thinking surely I misinterpreted her comment (she was trying to commiserate, right?), I turned and asked "excuse me?" Just to make sure there was no confusion, she repeated herself, with a sneer and dramatic roll of the eyes. I'm not even sure what she meant - was she chastising me for snapping at my child or rewarding bad behaviour with snacks? - all I know is, it was an insult of some kind. I'm used to fellow mothers giving you a sympathetic smile or maybe throwing out a "Been there, done that!", anything to support the sisterhood. I mean, seriously, I was having a hard enough time. Do you have to kick me while I'm down, lady? I was so mortified by the whole exchange, we raced on and finished our shopping as quickly as possible.
Still reeling from my altercation in the aisle, I headed for the checkout lane. As usual, there were about 6 people in line in front of us with heaping carts and people quickly began lining up behind us as well. Wyatt's mood seemed to become increasingly agitated the longer we waited. I alternated between holding him, letting him stand in the cart, anything to occupy him. I knew if his feet hit the ground, he'd be gone. I would have been able to handle his temper much easier in private but I was well aware of the judgemental glances I was getting from fellow shoppers. When did it become socially unacceptable to discipline your own children? The more I tried to restrain him, the more upset he got. In all of his kicking and flailing, he managed to punch me right in the nose. I was quickly losing my cool, not to mention getting quite flustered over the scene we were causing. Finally it was our turn. He helped unload the groceries onto the belt. That bought me a minute of peace. I let him pretend to swipe my debit card and push the buttons on the machine. Another 30 seconds of silence. When it came time to pay, I noticed a series of foreign letters and numbers, along with ERROR scrolling across the screen of the debit machine. The clerk looked at her computer with a puzzled look and said "hmmm....I've never seen that before." She shot Wyatt, then me, a dirty look and called for a manager over the intercom. "Manager needed on aisle 7, manager on aisle 7" boomed over the loud speaker. I could hear the audible signs and groans from the people in line behind us. The manager came and she too, had never seen that before on the screen. The clerk mumbled something under her breath about the "boy pushing buttons" and the manager shot us a look. Dag nammit!! We couldn't catch a break. I was sweating profusely and embarrassed beyond belief by this point. They made an announcement that aisle 7 was cash or credit card only from that point on. I used my credit card to pay and raced toward the exit with Wyatt tucked under one arm, madly steering the shopping cart with the other, rocketing past the Walmart greeter as he called after us, "Have a nice day! Thanks for shopping at Walmart!"
When I relayed the story later to my girlfriends over coffee, they laughed and were appropriately horrified at my experience, although almost every one of them had a similar story or some sort of personal dilemma when it came to disciplining their children in public. My mom offered this advice "In our day, we just popped you on the bottom and that straightened you right up". I realize the decision of whether or not to spank your kids is a hotly contested topic. Whether you are for it or against it (I pass no judgement either way), it's definitely not something you do in public, without fear of public reprimand. So you just do what you can, quietly grit your teeth and offer empty threats that you can't back up with the disapproving eyes of total strangers fixated on you. What do you do when your kids are running amuck and causing a scene in public? I'd love to hear your comments or stories on this topic. If you're reading this with a satisfied feeling, thinking "my child never acts like that", don't be so smug, I'm sure your day will come!
6 comments:
I did the same thing with snacks in my purse, and if I forgot, we made a trip to the bakery and shared some cookies for the rest of our shop. BUT that trick didn't always work, and one time Lydia made it out the front doors to the parking lot, and was rescued by a very judgmental older woman. So now we do all our shopping online! Most of the grocery stores in the UK have home delivery! Genius! I haven't been to a grocery store with kids in 4 months :)
We just beat our child when she steps our of line. Kid needs to learn consequences when she chooses not to listen. Other people who don't agree can just mind their own business and concentrate on their own pathetic/incomplete lives.
I feel for you Chels...I probably would have left my full cart sitting in one of the aisles and walked out of the store. Bennett has thrown temper tantrums like that, and I too try to bribe her with a pack of fruit snacks, but it doesn't always work. I commend your patience!
Oh, your story in the grocery store was so funny. Back when my kids were that age they got a paddling just like your mom said but now you could land in the clink if someone really wanted to push it. I remember once Joni misbehaved in church. I picked her up, went out the door, gave her a good spanking and we came back in.That was before they had nurseries for children.
Haven't had the supermarket experience but one as equally humiliating. Coming out of Kindergym (similar to Gymbaroo)crossing the carpark road to the car. Lots of mums and their kids all coming out and lots of cars around. Capsule in one hand with hungry baby, toddler holding the other hand - until mid-road when said toddler decides he doesn't want to hold mummies hand. A couple of calm attempts to regain control until a very firm, "Hold my hand now or.....", which of course still didn't work. I try to grab Tom by the wrist and pull him off the road but he lifts his feet. So I end up picking him up around the waist like a sack of potatoes and carry him to the car, all the way yelling how dangerous the road is and how he's a naughty boy if he doesn't hold my hand! Not a great moment with plenty of mums watching on and surely judging, but as I said to Jim, do I put the newborn in the capsule down in the middle of the road to regain control of the toddler or do I drag the toddler? Who knows, but I just keep telling myself - they won't remember!
Christian throws tantrums in public quite often. I tried bribary, but no go with him. I paddle his bottom in public and dare anybody to say a word to me! People can be so rude and you wonder if they themselves have any manners? They should have empathy or mind their own buisness, in my opinion.
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