There are so many aspects of our life that are out there for the masses to read. But there's one thing I don't really ever write about - being the mom of a child with special needs.

Wyatt is quirky, silly, sweet, loving and enthusiastic but he's had challenges from the minute he was born. I don't write about the challenges because it feels like a betrayal to him in some way. But not writing about it doesn't really feel authentic. There's this part of our life - a big part - that I don't even mention. It's the part that has brought about the most personal growth in me. It's shaped me into the person I am today and shaped the dynamic of our family. It's made me more compassionate, more empathetic, more spiritual. I guess being a mom does those things to everyone, but watching your child struggle and overcome challenges gives you a new appreciation of the little things. We celebrate things that others may take as a given. His challenges have taught me to be more accepting, compassionate and less judgemental of others.

When Wyatt was little, I had a lot of anxiety about his development, fears, worry, guilt. Deep down, I suspected something was off but there was a part of me that either wasn't ready to go there or else I thought maybe if I worked hard enough, I could "fix it". I didn't understand why he wasn't like other kids his age and I blamed myself and my parenting skills. I thought if I tried harder or did a better job, things would be different. It seems ridiculous now. I had some very dark days. A true turning point was starting early intervention services. I finally had professional support from kind, loving individuals who understood him and knew how to help him. I was tired of the judgement and advice from other well meaning people and tired of struggling so hard and not seeing the results I was expecting. Having a kid who isn't "typical" can be very lonely and isolating if you let it - and I did. I distanced myself from others because hearing stories of their kids antics and milestones just fueled my fears. I struggled a lot during that period of my life. But like all struggles, it taught me things too.

After I had Hadley, I had a real "ah ha" moment. She was so typical, advanced actually, in every way. She hit all the milestones early, talked up a storm and was easy, happy and flexible. I figured this must be what others experienced as a parent. It was just so easy and I was used to struggling. She seemed to figure things out, without much direction, whereas we were used to working so hard on everything with Wyatt. I cut myself a little more slack and realized it wasn't my parenting that made him the way he was, it was just who he was.

Over the past four years, we've had more support than we could have imagined. We've had speech therapists, physical therapists, occupational therapists, orthotists, ENTs, allergists, developmental pediatricians, behavioral consultants, social skills coaching and paraprofessionals. He continues to amaze us with the challenges he has overcome and the things he has accomplished. I worried he'd never walk and now he's riding a bike, climbing jungle gyms and swimming. I thought he'd never talk and now he barely stops talking. He's constantly beating his lips and we often tell him to take a break just so we can have a minute of quiet! He struggled to hold a pencil and now his handwriting is pretty decent and his fine motor skills have not affected his ability to kick butt on the xbox. He has friends, he's smart and he's doing well in school. He does not give up and always gives 100% in therapy sessions his therapists tell me. They all love him and tell me he's such a joy to work with. He's always happy, endearing and eager to please.  He really loves school and they love him. In a school of 650 kids, you'd think each one would just be a number. We were shocked how many people knew him when we went to the open house. He was walking down the hall like he was running for mayor, "Hi Bob!" "Hi Mrs. G!" Even the custodian knew him. Staff at the school whom we had never met were coming up to us telling us what a joy he is and how much they love him. It is wonderful to hear others appreciate him.




















He still has quirks and characteristics that are different from others, but it's part of who he is. He has big emotions. He gets upset about little things and needs reminders to be more flexible and let things go. He's very dramatic and we have to coach him through tough situations. On the flip side, he's happy and enthusiastic about everything he does. He really loves life and gets excited about the littlest things. When I tell him about something we have planned, he'll exclaim "That is so awesome, mom! That will be the best day of my life!" with such enthusiasm, you can't help but believe him. I used to always correct him when he got overly excited about something, but then I realized I was really squelching one of the things we love about him. Who's to say it's not the most exciting day of his life? All we really have is this moment anyway. He teaches me so much about life every day.  He's sensitive and feels deeply. A sad song on the radio will bring a tear to his eye. He's come a long way but he still struggles with motor skills - sports probably won't be his thing (Dayven is completely ok with this and I'm so grateful). He loves the theatre. We recently got him into acting classes and he loves it. I can hear him in there, belting out the tunes and he'll come home and show us the moves he learned.  He loves books and he's a pretty good reader. The learning support teacher at his school occasionally pulls him from class to help one of her kindergarten students who is struggling with some things Wyatt has mastered. This kid loves Wyatt so she uses him as motivation and it's a real ego boost for Wyatt. When she goes to get him from class, he'll tell his classmates "Guys, I have to go help my kindergartner now!" with a proud smile on his face. We all just want to feel needed, right?

When you have a typical child, you take it for granted that they'll have friends. Hadley is popular and well liked and seems to make friends every where she goes. When your child is different, you pray that others will appreciate their differences and see the gifts and beauty that you see. Wyatt does have a few friends and enjoys talking to other kids but he's a bit awkward and making small talk doesn't come easy for him. Those who know him well don't seem to notice much. We've had a couple encounters with mean kids but so far mostly people have been pretty accepting and I'm often touched by the kindness of others.  He gets invited to birthday parties (not just ones the whole class is invited to) and asked over for playdates.

I still have the occasional pity party. Some days are hard (although those are few and far between as he gets older). Dayven is amazing with him and Wyatt loves and respects him so much. Our family unit is strong and we're in this together. Hadley and Tate love Wyatt so much and they're his best friends. Last night, Tate went into Wyatt's room at bedtime and said "I wuv you, Wy Wy". I melted a little when I heard him. Hadley is one of his biggest cheerleaders, next to me. She's always coaching him along and giving him little pep talks "It's ok. You can do it, Wy! Never give up!". Hearing her tiny voice saying such encouraging words warms my heart. She'll even ask him to help her with something I know she can do. I wonder if she senses how much it helps his self esteem to feel needed. She's wise beyond her years sometimes.  He's teaching her too.

I have an amazing group of girlfriends here who all have a child with special needs.  I have a lot of friends with typical kids too, but there's a bond I have with my "special moms". It's nice to be in the company of others who just "get" it. They're some of the strongest women I know and I'm grateful God brought them into my life.
 
None of us know what our future holds but I know that Wyatt's determination and positive attitude will take him far. He has made great strides and surprised us in so many ways. We continue to see so much growth, maturity and development in him and we're so grateful for the wonderful team of people that continue to help him. It's funny how something that started out so devastating really turned out to be an amazing gift. We are so blessed to have such a wonderful boy for a son. We are all better people with him in our lives.
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In May, I'm running on a relay team for the Pittsburgh Marathon. I'm hoping to raise $1000 for the Autism Connection of PA. If you feel so inclined, please consider helping me reach my goal. Here is a link to my fundraising page>>>   CLICK HERE