A few days ago, we stopped at the liquor store and Dayven went inside, while I waited in the car with the kids. It wasn't long before Wyatt piped up from the backseat that he had to pee. Luckily Dayven was just walking back to the car so I jumped out, unbuckled Wyatt from his seat and steered him straight into the store. I frantically begged him to hold it while we raced through the store, trying to find the bathroom. The woman manning the sample booth informed me that the bathroom was not for customers (which irritated me beyond belief considering we'd just dropped $100 easily in their store and clearly, this was an emergency!) I informed her we'd just be using the parking lot then and so we did. I shoved Wyatt over to the corner near the planters and instructed him to pee. Yes, I realize that teaching your kid to pee in the parking lot of a liquor store officially makes you white trash. We received a few horrified stares, but well, what can you do?
Wyatt also finds it necessary to announce the particulars of every bathroom experience to anyone within ear shot (I guess I do too since I'm writing this post). It's not uncommon to hear something like this "oh. I'm tooting a wittle bit. Mommy, I just tooted. EXCUSE ME! I tooted!" followed by hysterical giggling. Last week, while Wyatt was on the toilet doing his business, I went to answer the door, only to find some nice people from World Vision trying to raise money for the starving children of Africa. I politely listened to their spiel and managed to keep a pleasant smile on my face the whole time, even when I heard Wyatt yelling from the other room "AAAAGHH!! I GOT DI-A-WEE-A! AAAGH!!! di-a-wee-a......oh no! Mommy, I got DI-A-WEEEEE-A!" No shame in his game. The people had a slightly disgusted look on their face as they muttered "It sounds like you have your hands full, we'll let you go". Um, yeah, I better go...
Yesterday we were grocery shopping when Wyatt informed me, "I'm just going to pee a wittle bit in my pants." What?? "No! Just hold it! ok, buddy? HOLD IT!" I careened the giant rocket ship/shopping cart heaping with food through the aisles at warp speed, looking for the bathroom. We barely made it in time and I had to find the store worker to tell them about the mysterious puddle on the floor around the toilet. "It totally wasn't us, but I just thought you should know..." ;o)
Places Wyatt has peed lately other than in the bathroom:
The Lawn and Garden section of The Real Canadian Superstore
The parking lot of Walmart (although, based on The People of Walmart website, peeing in the parking lot is NOT the most shocking thing they've seen).
Our neighborhood playground
Our backyard
Our front yard
Our side yard
Who knows where else? I'm sure this list will continue to grow before the summer is out. I only hope that those who've casually observed our potty encounters will remember what it was like to have a little boy and not judge too harshly.
4 comments:
Laughed out loud yet again! I loved it...it must be a boy thing because my nephew pees everywhere he can. In fact, he used to prefer going outside. I guess that gives me something to look forward to with Preston.
Just pretend you are in China. It was nothing to see parents holding their little girls so they could pee by the gutters. In China their babies do not wear diapers!! Can you imagine that??. They train them very early. How I know this, I noticed a tiny baby with no diaper and I had to ask our tour guide and this is what she told me. That was before I saw them peeing along the side of the walks.
White Trash it may be, but y'all did come from Tennessee. Love the parenting skills...we would have done the same.
HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!! Oh gosh I laughed out loud. Madeline hollars (so proud of herself), "Mommy! Come look at my big poo-poo!!!" And what can you do but go look and cheer? :)
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