Here a pee, there a poo...

...everywhere a pee and poo! If I had a nickel for every time I cleaned up an "accident" in our house lately, well, let's just say I'd have a lot of nickels. We were told to let your puppy out every one to two hours and we've been doing this. He goes to the bathroom outside without a problem. The problem is he goes inside without a problem too. In Finley's eyes, the house is just one big toilet. He is only 3 months old so I guess it's to be expected.

It's been a while since we've done the puppy thing so we forgot what it was like. In a way, it's like having a newborn again. His tiny pea-sized bladder can't hold through the night, so I get up around 4am and again at 6am to let him out. The other day I was cooking dinner and I heard Wyatt squealing and yelling "momma!". I went into the living room and found him holding two giant poop logs (one in each hand) and grinning from ear to ear. I shrieked in horror at Finley to go outside and Wyatt to drop the poop, not necessarily in that order. Another time we were outside playing in the yard for at least an hour, only to go inside and find poop on the carpet. Finley had pooped outside, but stepped in the poop and tracked it in the house. Even if he's not doing it in the house, then he's still bringing it in!

We were getting desperate, so we resorted to consulting the experts and purchased "Puppies for Dummies". The dummies being us.

The book says to hang a bell by the backdoor and teach your dog to ring it when he needs to go outside. I'm sure this works fine if you don't have a toddler in your house that likes to take the bell down and run around the house ringing it and screaming at the top of his lungs. The dog finds this very confusing.

The book says to clap your hands and yell "EP! EP!" in a loud voice to startle the dog when you catch them in the act. I'm sure this works fine if your dog isn't completely skittish. The dog finds the commotion so startling that he pees even more, out of sheer terror.

The book says to remove his water dish after 8pm so he will have a better chance of making it through the night. I'm sure this works fine if you live in a more humid climate and your dog is not so parched he is panting and roaming the house, licking shower doors hoping for a drop of perspiration to wet his whistle.

I guess it will just take age and maturity to solve some of our elimination problems. For now, we'll just continue buying Nature's Miracle by the gallon jug.